"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize