I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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