Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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