i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Someone came in the potted fern
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
