it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
