idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
