I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
