my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
