you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
