I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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