And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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