Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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