Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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