I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
