I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
