I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
