I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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