I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
