thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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