We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
