i don't like sucking hair
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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