I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
