he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
