Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
