No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
