What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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