Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
