Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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