I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
