You made me cry and you don't even care
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
