brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
