just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
