we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
