so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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