ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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