Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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