We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
