So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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