Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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