he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
