it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
