I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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