She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
