i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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