so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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