Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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