How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
