actually, I'm a sock model
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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