I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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