There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
