You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Randomize
