i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
