Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
