Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
