Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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