Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
